Reflections

“It’s so fucking hot in here!” She exclaimed as she walks into the living room. She’s wearing her regular choice in lounge attire, short shorts and a vest top, garments that can’t hope to hide the lower part of her belly as it hangs over her waistband and peeks out from under the vest’s hem. 

I watch on appreciatively as she walks past, her lower belly roll jiggling with each heavy, bare-footed step. She plops down on her couch which just sets every inch of her off, it makes me smile. 

“It’s the height of summer, what do you expect?” I ask as I lean over to make sure the fan is oscillating and that we both get some brief moments of relief from the unmanageable heat. 

“It never used to be this bad.” She complains before taking a long drink from her beer stein, well, it’s my beer stein but I don’t mind her using it. 

“That’s global warming for you.” I retort. While partly true, it isn’t the only reason that she’s red faced and sweaty. 

Trick or Feet

 Chantelle was relaxing at home this past Halloween, enjoying a few scary movies while attending to the occasional trick or treaters that would call at her door during the evening. The slim brunette got up from the sofa to answer the door again, grabbing the bowl of candy to offer to her visitors. 

“Trick or treat!” the trio of costumed children shouted out in unison as she answered the door. 

“Oh my! What scary costumes you have.” she mentioned as she began handing out the candy, depositing and handful into each outstretched goody bag. “There’s a scary pumpkin head, and a spooky ghost, and you must be a wicked witch?” she asked as the kids nodded along before thanking her and going on their way. 

Chantelle’s night continued much like this, every 15 minutes or so she would pause her movie, get up and dish out candy before returning to the sofa to continue, it wasn’t until much later when things went awry for her. 

I Got a Bowl Cut

 This all happened a couple of years ago while I was working for my mom’s landscaping business part time while I was putting myself through college. Most of the time I’d help out on jobs, just doing simple things like lawn mowing or a bit of pruning. Sometimes though, my mom would ask me to go around collecting payments from customers and that was when I first met Agnes. 

Agnes ran a beauty salon come barbershop in town, it wasn’t a place I frequented as a child because I’d always kept my wavy red hair long, only getting it trimmed every other month or so and the salon my mom used was one that was closer to home. Agnes’s salon had a beautiful window garden and a couple of shrubs that she would pay my mom to upkeep and as such, was one of the customers that I would call in on to collect payment. 

She seemed nice enough, an older lady who was always cheery and never had a problem handing over the cash unlike some of my mom’s other customers. It’s when she took an interest in my hair that our relationship took a turn. 

Something a Little More Permanent

“There you go Erica, job done for another month.” 

Erica Britton removed the safety goggles and inspected herself, she had been coming to Nicole’s salon for the past 4 months and was really starting to see some progress with the laser hair removal sessions. She definitely didn’t have to shave as often, not that she was especially hairy anyway, it’s just that she found the whole process so boring and time consuming. She had tried waxing, shaving and sugaring, always looking for the next best solution to get rid of her body hair, hopefully for good! 

“How much do I owe you?” she asked as she started putting her clothes back on. 

“£650, same as every time you ask me.” joked Nicole. 

“I’m not sure which hurts more, the sting of the laser or the sting to my bank balance.” replied Erica, “I just wish there was a way to remain hairless without so much effort and money being involved.” 

“Oh Erica, you and everyone else who wants to get rid of hair. But if they made that available to everyone, people like me would go out of business, that’s why the agreement was put in place.” 

“What do you mean? What agreement?” asked Erica. 

With This Ring, I Thee Wed

 No-one was really too surprised when Elizabeth and Lee McKinnon didn’t exchange traditional wedding rings. To call the couple alternative would be an understatement and it was evident for all to see as they stood at the altar that they had constructed in the woods just outside of their property line. The guests in attendance looked on as the couple exchanged their vows, he with a tall top hat perched on top of his hairless head, his moustache curled like an old timey villain, his garb of a tailcoat a drainpipe trousers certainly added to his bad guy look. 

She looked to be his perfect bride, the darkness of her ebony curls only matched by the shade of her traditional style wedding dress, some might have thought that they looked better dressed for a funeral than a wedding but Elizabeth and Lee didn’t really care much for what those type of people thought. 

The ring bearer for the couple also happened to be their long-time body piercer and tattoo artist Tomasz and was the only person they trusted to do such a thing as what was about to happen. Lee went first as was customary, he was ready to slide the ring through the hole that had just been pierced into Elizabeth’s septum. She in turn was able to return the favour once her eyes had stopped watering, adorning her new husband with his wedding nipple ring. 

Kidnapped to be Fattened? Yeah Right!

 Cleo awoke to find herself bound to a chair, “What the hell?!” she thought to herself before deciding to call out, “Help! Is there anyone there? Please, let me go!” Taking in her surroundings she could see that she appeared to be being held in someone’s basement. Sure, there had been an attempt to sound-proof the room with many of the walls having eggbox foam panels stuck to them but there was also a bicycle, a wine rack, half a bag of cement and the room also housed the boiler for what she assumed was a family house. 

“Is anyone going to tell me just what’s going on?” she shouted to no-one in particular, she was aware that she’d been kidnapped and was anxiously awaiting her captor's appearance. 

I've Got a Golden Ticket

 You’re not going to believe how this happened to me, in fact, it’s a bit of a mystery as to how you’re even reading this but let’s not get bogged down in little things like that because I know you’re going to want to read this. I mean, you clicked on the story after all. 

So, I was feeding my cat, right? Just about as mundane of a thing as you can think of, just a normal boring everyday occurrence, I’m pouring kibble out into his bowl and out floats a golden piece of paper, straight out of the bag and lands in his bowl. Now I’m thinking, “What on earth is this?” I hadn’t noticed that there was a special promotion on the bag but sure enough, there it was, “Have you won a golden ticket?” the bag asks in a little sticker in the corner. Well, obviously I’d only gone and won one of these golden tickets and you might be wondering what I won so I’m going to tell ya.