5 Minute Fiction

Not done one of these in ages so I thought I'd treat you before releasing the final part of Vengeance... tomorrow.

“And now we head over to Samantha outside the supreme court who I believe has the latest word on the landmark Flexi-Loss case, Samantha I hear there has been what may be considered a rather strange ruling?”

“That’s right Mary, the official verdict has found that Flexi-Loss had no legal right to offer its clients weight-loss services in any shape or form anywhere in the world.”

“And what does that mean for Flexi-Loss and its customers?”

“Well this is where this ruling becomes a little strange Mary. Chief Justice has deemed it fair that Flexi-Loss should cease all trading immediately, furthermore they are being ordered to refund anyone who has purchased products from the company.”

“That’s not the strangest part of the ruling though is it Samantha?”

“Not by a long shot Mary, the judgement has also come down that Flexi-Loss are legally bound to ensure that any weight lost using their products illegally is regained as soon as possible.”

“Now that’s going to come as a bit of a blow for many people won’t it? Obviously, people using the controversial weight loss product won’t be pleased to regain the weight they had lost.”

“Well it’s a blow that they will have to come to terms with rather quickly Mary, the ruling states that anyone who has purchased Flexi-Loss products must report to their local distributor to undergo the reversal of the weight-loss procedure as soon as possible and has put a grace period of thirty days in place to allow customers to report for what is ostensibly enforced fattening.”

“And what if these customers don’t report in a timely fashion?”

“Chief Justice has planned for such an occurrence Mary, stating that customers will gain an additional 1lb of weight for every day past the thirty-day deadline that they fail to turn themselves in, with no cap on the amount of penalty weight gain, anyone who thinks they can run from this ruling may find it quite hard to run once Flexi-Loss catches up with them.”

“Well speaking personally as a Flexi-loss customer I can say that I’m not exactly looking forward to regaining my holiday pounds and I’m sure many viewers are in the same boat. Forgive me for speaking frankly Samantha, but I’m surprised that you are in such a good mood, didn’t you use Flexi-Loss to lose over 200lbs before you worked here at Channel 6?”

“That I did Mary!”

“Then why are you so happy? Why are you laughing?”

“Technically I’ve never purchased anything from Flexi-loss, my procedures were purchased by my ex-husband, all of the weight I lost was recorded in his name!”

“Ah, perhaps a technical oversight in the ruling there.”

“Well I for one welcome it! I’m off to the pub to celebrate! Signing off.”